


Short and Sweet Schitt's Creek

by princesstigerlily



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Ficlets, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:40:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24684754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesstigerlily/pseuds/princesstigerlily
Summary: A collection of ficlets and drabbles and other little spots of informal writing that crop up on Tumblr and Discord (various ratings per chapter)
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd & David Rose
Comments: 18
Kudos: 73





	1. Always Be My Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rated G: Patrick takes care of his husband after he's Mariah Carey'd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [David and the gang sing with Mariah Carey](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMnTwzFxT_k)

“David?”

“I LOVE YOU!”

Patrick’s lips twisted into a smile at the sound of David’s hysterics. A dramatic David was one he loved the most. And it’s not like he could exactly blame his husband for his reaction. Patrick had even felt a little star struck himself.

Pushing open the door to study, Patrick couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of his husband face down on the floor, a tearfully blissful look on his face.

“David?” he said again as he made he way across the room.

“She’s so perfect!” David sobbed, one hand shooting out to flail in Patrick’s general direction as if the action could explain everything mere words could never express. “She’s just...she’s so perfect and did you hear what she sang to me? I will always be her baby, Patrick!”

“So I heard.”

A lesser man might have been jealous Mariah Carey’s version of his wedding vows were eliciting such a reaction, but Patrick took it in stride. He was the one who got to call David _husband_ , after all.

“Do you need help getting up?”

“I don’t think I can move. My body has stopped working. I think I live here on the floor now.”

Patrick rolled his eyes affectionately and dropped to his knees beside his husband, stretching out to lay alongside him.

“Then I guess I live down here, too.”

Reaching out, Patrick gently carded his fingers through David’s hair, listening to the soft happy noises he made in response.

“ _You’ll always be a part of me_ ,” Patrick sang softly. “ _And I’m a part of you indefinitely_.”

“Oh my goooddddd,” David whined. Wiggling his body, David shuffled himself closer to Patrick, burrowing into his chest as Patrick sang.

“ _Ooh darling, cause you’ll always be my baby_.”

Patrick let the song die down after the one chorus, content to just hold his overwhelmingly happy husband in his arms. The two lay together, just listening to each other breathe for several minutes.

“Huh,” Patrick said, finally breaking the silence. “So this is marriage.”

David huffed out a laugh, muffled by Patrick’s shirt front. Lifting his head, David wriggled himself up until he could close the distance and press a soft kiss to his husband’s lips.

“Just so you know,” he murmured, pulling Patrick ever closer. “She may be Mariah Carey, but you’re _my_ Patrick Brewer.”


	2. I Can't Get No Satisfaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rated E: David sits on Patrick's face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Julywonder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julywonder/pseuds/Julywonder) pointed out to me that in one of the chapters of [Just as Long](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19032124/chapters/54362671) David tells Patrick he's going to sit on his face until he cums, but it doesn't end quite the way he planned. So here I fixed that for her.

David is doing his best to hold on, holding himself open while his thighs shake. Patrick's hands are just barely holding on to David's hips, guiding him up and down to ride Patrick's tongue.

David's cock is so hard, so red and swollen and dripping onto Patrick's chest, but he doesn't touch it.

Not yet.

His head is flung back and his mouth is wide open, desperate high pitched gasps teased out of him as Patrick's tongue licks deeper and deeper inside. Patrick groans in satisfaction beneath him, a deep rumble in his chest that floods through David's trembling body all the way down to his toes.

David can feel it when he's about to cum. Heat pools in his belly and his balls ache. He thinks about grabbing his cock, knows it'll just take a tug or two and he'll shoot. But Patrick's tongue is so soft and insistent against his rim, he never wants this feeling to end.

But soon enough it does. Patrick swirls his tongue, thrusting in deep. David's thighs burn and his cock throbs and David sobs out Patrick's name as his warm sticky load splatters across Patrick's chest.

Even then, Patrick doesn't stop. Just licks into David over and over while David moans and shakes above him.

Finally David can't take it anymore. His thighs buckle and he collapses down across Patrick's chest. Patrick helps roll him onto his back, all trembling uncoordinated limbs. Slotting himself between David's legs, Patrick lowers himself down to capture David's lips in a deep slow kiss.

"Are you ready for me now, love?" Patrick asks, his lips ghosting across David's.

David nods then throwing his head back with a ragged moan, takes Patrick's thick cock inside. Every inch of him is trembling. The pleasure of Patrick's cock filling him, hitting his prostate with every stroke, is sharp and jagged. Too much and not enough.

He wails when Patrick fills him, cumming deep inside, claiming him. Patrick pulls out, but in seconds something else is nudging inside, keeping him open, keeping him full. He feels Patrick's lips pressing kisses to his face, his neck, his shoulders, sweet words whispered in his ears. And he sighs, letting his eyelids flutter closed, sinking into Patrick's tenderness and care.

Completely satisfied.


	3. Hold Me Tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rated M: Stevie and David face time, but David seems a little...distracted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed a little break while gearing up to write some David and Jake smut for [The Fundamental Things Apply](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23252539), so you can all blame [subitodolcediva](https://archiveofourown.org/users/subitodolcediva/pseuds/subitodolcediva) for this.

“Seriously, David,” Stevie was saying, the wind whipping through her long brown hair as she made her way through the bluster to her motel room. “This place is a hell-hole. We should never have let Roland pick the next Rosebud location.”

David’s grip tightened on his phone, but he held it steady, watching through the screen as Stevie shouldered her way through the door.

“Stevie, you live in Schitt’s Creek. How much more of a hell-hole could it be?”

“Welp, there was a dead racoon in the first room they gave me and I’m pretty sure they’re renting a few of the rooms by the hour.”

The screen tilted wildly, showing David a stained ceiling and mismatched furniture as Stevie flopped down onto one of the twin beds. When she was settled, she stretched both arms overhead, holding her phone aloft to frame her face and stare back at her best friend.

David reached for his glass of wine, sipping deeply and moaning softly in appreciation causing Stevie to roll her eyes.

“It’s wine, David,” she snarked, “not a sexual experience.”

David’s lips twitched, but he quickly schooled his expression. “It’s a good wine, Stevie. Anyway,” he snarked back as Stevie rolled her eyes again, “didn’t  _ you _ rent rooms by the hour at the original Rosebud?”

“That was your dad.”

“Ew.”

“Speaking of which, have you talked to him lately?”

David sighed, letting his head languish against the back of the couch. “Hmmm? What did you say?”

“I’m sorry, am I  _ boring  _ you?”

“Not at all!” David took another pull of wine before setting the glass back down on the side table. “Please, continue.”

“I was just asking if you had talked to your dad lately,” Stevie repeated, her eyes narrowing as she watched David through the screen.

“Mom’s got to do some location work for  _ Sunrise Bay  _ so he’s going with her. Hawaii, I think.”

“Uh huh. So David, how’s Patrick?” Stevie asked, her voice sharp and pointed. “I’d love to see him.”

“Mmhmm, and I’m sure he would love that, he’s just a bit...indisposed at the moment.” A flicker crossed over David’s face before he contorted it into an expression of exaggerated sorrow. “I will be sure to let him know you said hi.”

“What a shame.” A smirk stretched itself across Stevie’s lips. “I was so hoping to say it in person.”

David and Stevie stared at each other through the screen, eyes burning with challenge and laughter, until finally David sighed and rolled his eyes before looking down to the floor. There, between his thighs, knelt Patrick, wet mouth stretched wide around David’s swollen cock, suckling gently. David eased him off, releasing his hold on Patrick’s curls and cupped his face gently, soothing a thumb along Patrick’s jaw line.

“What do you say, baby, you wanna say hi to Stevie?”

Stevie’s grin widened as a red faced Patrick slowly appeared in the frame, climbing onto the couch next to David and wiping the back of his hand across plump, spit-slick lips.

“Hi, Stevie,” he grinned bashfully.

“You two are disgusting,” Stevie scolded. “You didn’t have to answer the phone!”

“Uh, excuse me, you once answered my phone call  _ while Jake was inside you _ !”

Stevie grinned, a rush of heat racing up her spine at the memory of straddling Jake, her hips gently corkscrewing on his cock while he thumbed over her clit, all while listening to David spiral about floral arrangements.

“You were in the middle of planning your wedding! I was just being a good maid of honor!”

“Is that what we would call that?”

“We would. I was an excellent maid of honor.” Stevie stuck her tongue out at the grinning faces of the two people she loved most in the world. “All right, well I’m going to go. But Patrick, if this hell-hole turns out to be haunted and I’m stolen away by an evil spirit in the night, you’ll have to live with the face that it happened while you were giving this loser a sloppy blow job.”

“Noted,” Patrick laughed, just as David interjected with, “His blow jobs are never sloppy!”

They watched Stevie cackling on her motel bed for a few final seconds before the screen went blank and she ended the call.

Turning to David, Patrick grinned sheepishly as he pulled David into a soft, sensual kiss. “Should we be embarrassed by that?” he murmured, lips ghosting over David’s.

Tangling his fingers in the curls he was finally able to convince his husband to grow out, David tugged hard, baring Patrick’s deliciously pale throat and eliciting a high-pitched whimper. “She’s walked in on worse,” he said, nipping gently at Patrick’s jugular, then licking a wide, wet stipe up to Patrick’s ear.

“Now, where were we?”


End file.
